February 4, 2010

Q:How you doing? Lol no but really I need your advice on a current situation Im in. Me and my girlfriend (she’s a stud) have been together for 2 yrs on March 27. Everything was good in the beginning, but then things started to change. There was this girl (I don’t want to say any names) that she started talking to and the girl added me as a friend on myspace. Me, being the person I am, I went on the girl’s myspace page, and to my surprise what do I see? She’s got my girlfriends picture on her page saying that’s her wifey and they’ve been together for 3 months. I confronted her and she told me that she was only a friend, but I had this feeling she was lying, so I got the girl’s side of the story. After talking to the supposedly “girlfriend #2″ and her story didn’t match or make sense I wrote it off. I didn’t think about it anymore. I believed my girlfriend. Then I got introduced to this website called mocospace, and I would go on there and chat to different people, but it was never serious. I met this stud on mocospace, and for some reason I would talk to her everyday. It started as a friendship, but then I started to like her. While all of this is going on, I still always had that feeling in my heart telling me that my girlfriend lied to me, but I still believed her when she said she didn’t. Well, after I explained what happened between me and my girlfriend, the other stud understood and asked was I sure I wanted to enter into a relationship. I said yes. Now, I never told my girlfriend was talking to somebody else, and when she found out, she broke up with me. Ok, so here’s the kicker. After about 2 months of me and the stud that I met on mocospace being together, I broke up with her. I told her I still felt that she had feelings for ex since she would never take her ex’s picture off of her myspace page and etc. But the thing is, I only broke up with her to get back with my girl, who was my ex at the time. I broke up with the other stud right after Christmas.  So which brings me to the present. I noticed my girlfriend has been acting different since we have gotten back together. It’s little things that she used to do that doesn’t even happen anymore. She never wants to spend time with me. When we were broken up, I kicked her out, and she went to stay with my sister for a while. And now she doesn’t want to come back home. We barely have sex anymore, it isnt that important but I would like it more often. I also noticed that we are always arguing over something sometimes that wont even matter in 5 minutes. I know I contributed a lot to it. I swear, I can be an evil bitch, and I have that attitude towards my girl sometimes. I don’t know if it’s because, I have mood swings, and I’m bipolar or what. But I wrote her a letter and I told her that I do blame her for everything that goes wrong, but it’s not just her it’s me also. I told her I’m going to try my hardest to work to change things, so it could be how it was in the beginning of our relationship. But now she’s saying she doesn’t know if she wants to work things out. She texted me that she told her mother that everything is her fault, and her mother thinks that she should come stay with her for 1 month to give us time apart. Then she texted me that she’s still hurt from me dating the other stud. I told her when she asked me to get back with her, she said that whatever happened stays in the past, and I held her to that. I stopped talking to the other stud, no calling, texting, IMing, nothing. But what makes me so angry is that I know that she’s still talking to all those females from when we had broken up. Not to mention I came in the office, and caught her on webcam talking one of the females. She was fully clothed, but still she does things like that behind my back, without confronting me about it first. But I told her if she wanted to go stay with her mother for a month then she should go and I support her. She asked do I think I will have moved on by the time she comes back, and I told her I didn’t know. But I wanted to talk to her face to face, so she said she was going to come home the next day, but when the next day gets here, she gives me this lame excuse. She’s telling me that my sister can’t bring her because she doesn’t have any gas, and that she’ll bring her the next day. I told if she wants to sit there and believe that lie then she can. I told her how my sister not has gas in her truck, if she’s always picking my mom up from work and running her around to do her errands almost everyday, and my mom’s giving her gas money.  So I just got fed up. I’m done with the lies and the bs. But at the same time I do want to salvage what is left of our relationship. I’m at a crossroad right now. I don’t know what to do.

A::Hello! thanks for visiting my site :) Ok, so your situation isn’t something unfamiliar to me. Hopefully I can help you out…..From what you’ve told me, it sounds like you ex got back with you even though she had some pent up feelings about the situation at hand. Sometimes when you love someone its so much easier to stay with them rather than just take the time needed to allow yourselves to cool off. Its hard. And now her real feelings are starting to shine through. If I were you I would back off and give her some space. In this situation you are in the wrong so even though she loves you, she may not want to be with you right now. Lies cause so many problems in relationships. They can cause a total lack of trust. Anyways, give her her space and try to be understanding. This is definitely a cross road for the two of you. this is time for you to decide what YOU really want! Good luck!

December 27, 2009

Q: Heyy! Okay so I need advice. I have a girlfriend and she usually dates studs…but i’m not a stud. But im not really a femme either =/ so what my question to you is…..do you think its possible for someone whose dated nothing but studs their whole life(or at least gay life) to have the same romantic/sexual feelings towards a femme and vice versa?

A::Ahh!! You’ve come to the right person with that question!! Lol. Im a Femme and all I date is Femmes….it is definetly possible for a girl who has dated mostly studs to date a femme! My first gf was a stud….Although I dont prefer studs, I could talk to either one as long as I find them attractive. Ive also talked to a few girls who had never dated a femme before….They just liked me. It wasnt about stud or femme. At the end of the day the key thing to remember is that were ALL GIRLS……Alot of “studs” forget that. Its not written in stone that Femmes have to date studs and vice versa…. Only people obsessed with labels think like that! Anyways babe…I hope this helps you!! If I was you I would go for it  and stick it out with your girl! :-) Femme on Femme is HOTT!

xoxo Aryka