Exclusive: Whats it like being gay in the Asian culture – The Fab Femme

Exclusive: Whats it like being gay in the Asian culture

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One major quality that I want this blog to posses is diversity. I want every race in the LGBTQ community to be able to come to this site and see that it has something to offer them. I also think its very important that we learn about one another. I believe different races in the LGBTQ community have different hardships they have to face and I wanted to get an inside look on each one. Lets start with the Asian culture. Check out this interview I did with an LGBT girl about what its like being a lesbian in the Asian community:

What does it mean to be gay in your culture?

– Bein gay in the asian culture means that u fully understand the implication of the phrase “building your own family”. Your duties are to your family, God, country, others and THEN self. Bein gay is the biggest stigma you can place upon ur family and the easiest way to fail in your duty to your family.

How do elders feel about it?

– Elders within my culture have zero tolerance towards being gay. Asian family will and have disowned their
son(s)/daughter(s) cause being gay brought shame upon the family. Even if rejection is not outright, often theres this attitude: “Be quiet bout it, its embarrassing to our family.” Elders believe that homosexuality is incompatible with “asian tradition”, however same sex romance was celebrated in ancient and medieval Chinese literature.

Are there a lot of Asians in the lgbt community?

– I would love to say yes but thats jus not the case. Asians in our lgbt community are a minority within a minority due to society as a whole.

Does being gay ever conflict with Asian rituals/beliefs?

– YES. Freedom is perhaps the most important thing in western culture, whereas harmony is for asian cultures. Western culture advocates the individual, whereas Asian culture is more bout the collective; success is highly dependent on money and social status. The pressure is particularly strong on those born in a one child family as they have to fulfil their God given mission to maintain the fam continuity. (I didnt bring religion into play cause theres numerous religions that are practiced within the asian culture.)

And lastly, what are steps you think Asian people in our lgbt community can take to make things better?

– Theres a lack of visibility, recognition, and representation for Asians in our LGBT community. Unless we  address the subject of sexuality and advocate equal rights, our discussions and movements of peace and justice are plainly incomplete. We need to inform and educate ourselves; organize a panel discussion to promote awareness and visibility of the unique issues that our LGBT Asian community faces. There are immense differences within both the Asian American and LGBT community. Asian parents have only negative images of lesbians/gays. Most Asian languages have no word for lesbian, gay or comin out. We needa keep strugglin, makin noise, connectin the dots; takin a stand.

In closing, I would like to say its up to us to ensure that the LGBT voice is as global and collaborative as possible, cause when we do so, were paving the way for the next generation of our LGBT community to experience greater acceptance, respect and compassion by the community at large.

I would like to thank Aryka for allowin me to share my thoughts/opinions with our lgbt community.


And I want to thank you for taking the time to do this interview and share your perspective with me and the rest of the world :) I respect your struggle. Thanks again!
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Aryka Randall is a media mogul in the making from San Diego, California. After relocating to Louisiana in 2004, Randall became active in her local LGBTQ community. Randall was recently featured on Go Magazines annual ‘100 Women We Love‘ issue along with Tagg Magazine, the Dinah Shore Blog, and a number of other LGBT publications for her work in the LGBT community

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