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Monday Sept 10

The Femme Curse #2

Entry Seven

Standing out in the “gay” crowd for a feminine lesbian is like a tomato trying to blend in a basket of fruit. You want to bet that it’s a vegetable, but it truly is a fruit! The conflict is that judgmental people are everywhere, even among the most protest types of lesbians.

In my early stages of coming out I wanted to do as many gay things as possible to help speed the process of me finding someone. Instead what I received was a reality check. My bubbly personality just didn’t fit the swag majority of the lesbian culture and I was in debates constantly. Somehow “I looked straight” and “Must be Bisexual” because of how I was perceived. For a long time, I committed myself to never approaching anyone and claimed that if anyone were really that interested they’d approach me. Sure I’d always find a partner for the dance floor, but this behavior guaranteed me singledom for years a time between partners.

I use to blame others for their insecurities and prejudices, until it was painfully obvious that I was the only common denominator. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I dating? The answer was simple; Confidence. When I stopped “trying” to fit in and prove my point about feminine lesbians being passed by, I found myself being introduced to many wonderful women. I made more friends and I no longer tried to dress in lesbian attire. I’d wear my 3-inch heels, black dress, and the whole nine and I would have a great time with or without getting a number.

As a result, the quality of people I’d meet improved as well as partners. Confidence is the gateway to self-acceptance and self-acceptance is the key to happiness.

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Aryka Randall is a media mogul in the making from San Diego, California. After relocating to Louisiana in 2004, Randall became active in her local LGBTQ community. Randall was recently featured on Go Magazines annual ‘100 Women We Love‘ issue along with Tagg Magazine, the Dinah Shore Blog, and a number of other LGBT publications for her work in the LGBT community

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