Dear Femme: A woman has my heart in shambles. What do I do? – The Fab Femme

Dear Femme: A woman has my heart in shambles. What do I do?

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Dear Femme: A woman has my heart in shambles. What do I do?

This morning I asked my friends on twitter to give me some insight into their world and allow me to be of any service I can in their lives. One of my followers tweeted the following.

“How the heck do you get through heart breaks? Cause I can’t seem to shake this feeling at ALL. It sucks.”

I know this feeling all too well and I also have a few tips that make help you get over your heart ache.

The first thing I always like to tell people about heart ache is that it doesn’t last forever. The only feeling that truly lasts forever is TRUE love. All the other feelings we experience diminish and disappear over time allowing us to get back to our “true selves.” The second thing I like to tell people is not to wallow around in their own depression. Don’t allow yourself to lie on the couch for three weeks and dwell on how much your heart is aching. I know it may be tempting but in the end its destructive behavior.

Get out and allow the sun to hit you you’re on your face. If you look up into the sky and tears weld up in your eyes and continue to fall down your cheeks that’s OK. It’s a process and everyone will go through it. At least give yourself a chance to get over the pain your experience. YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I cannot stress how important this is. Go out with friends, spend time with family and put in some extra hours at work to keep your mind off of losing your lady love.

Another thing I want to point out is that you don’t have to go and get under someone else to forget about your ex. At the end of the day you’re still going to be thinking about whoever broke your heart so there’s no point in sleeping with someone else just to gain temporary relief. Take some time to yourself and focus on work or hobbies that make you happy. After a fresh breakup is the PERFECT time to get back in touch with who you really are. Me time is much needed and you’ll miss it once it’s gone.

With that being said you should take some time to yourself and learn to love YOU all over again. When were in a relationship and we get used to having someone else’s love it can cause us to feel empty and vague once their love is gone. That’s ok! Replace their love with twice as much of your own and move on. You’ll be ok.

The last thing I want to encourage you to do is to stay positive and direct your energy in a positive direction. Stay energized and treat yourself by doing things you like and dong things that make you feel good. Take time to relax and write that book you’ve been dreaming about or start that small business you’ve always had your heart set on. Don’t be scared to be happy again. Pray, have faith, and keep a positive outlook even when it hurts to smile. Life goes on and you will love and hurt and love some more over and over again. Keep your head up love! It gets better.

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Aryka Randall is a media mogul in the making from San Diego, California. After relocating to Louisiana in 2004, Randall became active in her local LGBTQ community. Randall was recently featured on Go Magazines annual ‘100 Women We Love‘ issue along with Tagg Magazine, the Dinah Shore Blog, and a number of other LGBT publications for her work in the LGBT community

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